So Disgaea came up to me and said "LAME TITLE, MATE!" and I agreed...

Currently playing Disgaea on the DS.

One question:

WHY DID THEY MAKE IT SO GODDAMN ADDICTIVE?!

DAMN YOU! DAAAAAAAAAMN YOOOOOOOOOOU!

etc etc...

GOODBYE!

*waves*

So this Lindsay Lohan stuff is like... y'know?

Sorry for the title, and yes it annoyed ME to write it but see here's the thing...

Let's leave the girl alone for a while, OK? Granted, she's in the public eye, granted she's a celebrity and it's their "job" to be photographed and hounded and treated like everyone's property...

I hope you all understand I'm being facetious there.

However, being a random person with an opinion that obviously others can comment on and say "YOU SUCK!" or "YOU'RE RIGHT!" or more visceral and damning hyperbolic versions of those phrases, I just wanted to chime in my two cents (two pence in the UK).

I have a love-hate relationship with tabloid newspapers. The thing that I love about them is that they're reading material. That's it though. You can read them.

Otherwise I hate the fact they made up stuff based on quotes from friends of friends who HAVE NO BEARING ON WHAT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON*

(*disclaimer: this may or may not be true)

So the fact that we've heard that Sam and Lindsay have been spotted at a club is fine. Once or twice. The fact that they've been spotted for the thirteenth time at a club is dull. It's pointless. Do we care? Don't we already have the impression that Lindsay goes clubbing? That she's a party girl? Isn't that the image she's been plastered with for so long?

And this break-up. This melodramatic, played-out-in-the-papers-to-death break-up that involves shouting, screaming, Nicole Richie saying: "ugh", friends jumping ship, restraining orders... how much of this is true and why do we need to know? I swear sometimes these poor people get treated like meat and are thrown to the lions. You know what happens when lions get meat? They eat it, digest it and either throw it back up again or it comes out the other end.

Sounds like journalism to me.

I should know. I studied it for three years.

I don't think her appearance on Ellen DeGenererenenenerenerenes's show recently will make anyone think differently about her. People already have their opinions on her. She's a celebrity, of course they do. It's like every celebrity; people love them, people hate them, people have wildly conflicting opinions on them. That sounds a lot like normal life to me, only with more hyperbole and extremities thrown in.

Feel free to think of her as you like. That's what opinions are for. I'm not trying to foist my opinion of her on you and to be perfectly honest, neither should the tabloids.

Cos it's like... y'know... so trashy and stuff.

That was painful to write.

The title page?

Not that you're asking me but the title image is a picture of two "popstars" presenting at an awards ceremony. It's fairly old but I still get a kick out of the animations I did for said awards show. I may shove them on YouTube at some point, if I can get the damn movie maker to work - which will be never.

Just in case you wondering, the girl is meant to be the amusing drunk, the guy is supposed to be the sensible norm. IT'S AMUSING.

GOODBYE!

*waves*

Now with added AHA!

Another new advert that made me giggle/think... It's a well-known soap brand that advertises its product by saying it now contain AHAs... and has a bottle of the product with bubbles orbiting it with AHA in them.

So this product now contain AHA! So it either contains an "I just got an idea" expression or the 80s Swedish pop-group. Apparently Swedish pop is good for the skin! It's a good thing I like Ace of Base then...

Oh shut up, they're not that bad.

GOODBYE!

*waves*

Spot Blocker Pen?

There's this advert on TV for a certain spot medication brand for something called a Spot Blocker Pen.

Now... doesn't that technically mean that all it's doing is delaying the inevitable? BLOCK YOUR SPOTS WITH THIS PEN! How about just draw a lot of extra ones on with THIS pen?

*hands you a red felt tip*

Join the dots anyone?

GOODBYE!

*waves*

Retrospective: Grandia

So I'm currently on Easter hols so I've been giving the perfect opportunity to go through my entire games collection and find something worth playing.

I played Final Fantasy VII over Christmas and then went on a massive Suikoden + Suikoden II bender afterwards... so next on my list comes Grandia. Now, I've played, completed and replayed and recompleted this game so I'm pretty sure I know what I'm talking about with it. So here is my first:

RETRO GAME RETROSPECTIVE

Episode 1: Grandia

This may be the only one mind. Shush.

Fantastic!

So I've only just started playing this game again but already I'm finding what it is I loved about this game. If you've never played this game before, then I can't say that I blame you. Why?

It's a JRPG.

Mmmmmmyes. Yes it is. That may have you turning away in disgust now but seriously, listen to me when I tell you this game IS AMAZING IN MANY WAYS.

Now, if a game's first impressions are anything to go by, you'd expect this game to be quite a twee little adventure story that resembles The Goonies. It's all quite innocent and happy with the main character Justin and his childhood pal Sue running around town finding four pieces of "The Legendary Armour" - a dirty apron, a pot lid, a saucepan and a wooden sword... as you do - and then things take a slightly darker turn. If you've spent the first hour trying to find household items and you're started to dissolve internally because it's all too saccharine for you, don't turn off JUST yet. Things are just about to get good! BE PATIENT.

The battle system is fairly simplistic and yet has some nice quirks. The leveling up system for weapons and magic attacks works because you actually have to USE THEM in order to level them up. That works because who would be able to learn something without actually doing it? Hey, look everyone I have an umbrella! However, I haven't used this umbrella so my skills in umbrella using are still only at level 1.

See? Perfect logic.

I don't actually have an umbrella though so my umbrella using skills are actually not applicable.

So having worked your way through the opening story and battle system, what's left to love? Aside from a raft of impressive voice acting (apart from Rapp. He needs telling to SLOW DOWN. It's not a race, boy...), the wonderful musical score - proper orchestra, people, proper orchestra - and the wonderful follow-up story?

Ah... well... the graphics are a bit bleh. They're not awful, don't get me wrong. But let's just say that they're not exactly next-gen and they weren't exactly next-gen for the PSOne at the time. The 2D-3D thing would probably kinda work on the DS nowadays (and it generally does) but if anything they're the one thing that will probably put most people off, and yes that does include the fact that it's a JRPG.

If you do ever find a copy of it on eBay, buy it. You can do no wrong with it. It's a proper little gem. PLUS the main character isn't a snot-nosed brat you want to slap with a giant hook. He's a fairly bratty nuisance to start with but you don't hate him and then grow to love him. You like him and think he's awesome.

No, seriously.

Oh, but don't buy the sequel. The main character in that is a git and continues to be a git throughout.

Goodbye!

*waves*

Whaaaaat?

I have to ask myself why I'm frickin' well starting a blog. If I asked myself by writing that question down in speech marks then you'd probably think I was crazy or trying to be cute or amusing and failing miserably.

I'm not even sure why I'm debating this, who the hell is reading? *waves*

WAVE BACK.

That's all I'm asking.

Thank you.

Ah well. If you trip on this blog in the future, poor you. Run away quickly, it's not gonna be worth the effort.